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Article by Klam Meraffe
11-8-2005
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Nil wax miscellany
Google vs. Yahoo: who’s bigger, who’s better?
The root of Sincerely is Spanish sin cera, meaning ‘without wax’. It comes from an expression from the Renaissance period when Spanish sculptors who made mistakes carving expensive marble often patched their flaws with cera - wax. A statue that had no flaws and required no patching was hailed as sin cera. The phrase eventually came to mean anything honest or true until it evolved.
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Google vs. Yahoo: who’s bigger, who’s better?
- If size is what matters, it seems Google no longer has quite so much to brag about. The near-ubiquitous search engine’s rival Yahoo claims it spans almost 21 billion online ‘objects’ - nearly twice the material scanned by Google. Following a recent upgrade, Yahoo says its index covers 19.2 billion documents and 1.6 billion images. Google tracks 11.3 billion items - 8.2 billion pages and 2.1 billion images. Until now Yahoo had not revealed the size of its index. But industry estimates put it at less than 8 billion. Google said it was unable to verify Yahoo’s “substantial increase”. (11 Aug. 2005)
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Mary J Blige left school at 16 and worked in a beauty salon. Her last job before becoming a singer was as a directory assistance operator, which is why her debut album is called ‘What’s The 411?’ It is the US number for directory enquiries.
MJB has a habit of referring to herself in the third person. After she once challenged an interviewer to a fight, her record company made her take lessons in etiquette. (11 July 2005)
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The words 'testimony' and 'testify' have the same origin as the word 'testicle'. All three come from the Latin 'testis' meaning - witness. Legend has it that the Ancient Romans would hold on to their testicles when they swore an oath.
Modern scholars think the gesture also bore witness to the virility of the oath-maker. (19 June 2005)
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"There just aren't enough people out there who would want to watch them," Bob Geldof explained why the Spice Girls will nto be invited for a reunion performance at the Live8 concert. (12 June 2005)
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Memphis and Detroit would be contesting for the America’s title of the first city of soul but Chicago was always the first home of recorded blues. It was Chess Records, established by the Jewish entrepreneur and hustler Leonard Chess, whose first release was Muddy Waters’s ‘I Can Be Satisfied’ in 1948, that first gave the blues a voice and which would establish the richest catalogue of blues music, from Waters to Little Walter, from Robert Johnson to Etta James.
The story is now told in ‘The Record Men: Chess Records And The Birth Of Rock and Roll’ by Rich Cohen (Profile, £11.99), offering a short, lively snapshot of this transitional period in American culture when independent record labels ruled the roost and when racial tension had yet to reach the heights precipitated by the assassination of Martin Luther King.
A passionate account of rhythm’n’demons of the music but also the soul and spirit of the men behind it. [With a list of recommended listening.]
(02 June 2005)
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Surfing the Internet ~ phrase was first coined by US writer Jean Armour Polly in 1992 - the same year the number of websites hit 1 million. She said ‘surfing’ refereed to the feeling she got jumping from one web page to another - it was like leaping from wave to wave. (16 May 2005)
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"...Strech out a second or third-rate talent and make it mean something by insisting on its smallness," is how Kylie Minogue is adjudged by Americain poet Kevin Killian, a self-confessed 'gay fan'.
(29/4/2005)
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Rap, meandering on the highway to hell
Shooting full load of… auto big-ups
Bling with burgundy droplets and tattooed well
Narcissus reflecting on a bro’s hang-ups
[Anon]
(11 April 2005)
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Things you didn't know you didn't know
AmBUSHed Kween - Or, how pop-star embarrassed our Monarch
Singer Sandie Shaw had to resecue the Queen from Kate Bush, the singer who is rumoured to be coming back this year with a new album, at the official music industry party at Buckingham Palace a couple of weeks ago.
“I turned around and there was Da Kween,” Ms Shaw’s recalls in the latest issue of New Statesman, “in a bright turquoise suit smiling at me, holding our her hand to be shaken (no gloves). She chatted away amiably and even managed to look interested as I explained my latest foray into European copyright law.”
“All the while Kate [Bush] was rummaging in her handbag. Suddenly, she produce a pen and some paper. ‘Would you mind awfully singing this for my son?’ she asked sweetly.”
“The Queen looked lost for words, ‘I think that’s pop-star thing, Kate’, I mumbled. The Queen seemed pleased to be let off the hook.”
“‘Quite right,’ she answered as an enquerry quickly hustled her away.
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George C. Scott refused to accept his Best Actor Oscar© in 1969 for his portrayal of ‘Patton’ on grounds that the whole event was just “a two hour meat parade” [in haute couture].
NB: The telecast has been extended to nearly four hours since then.
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Brian May’s footwear fetish: Queen’s guitar-supremo is known for his baroque hairdo and wearing clogs. Well - wooden clogs, or ‘klompen’, were first made in Holland in the mid-1300s when only the rich could afford leather for shoes. They were made from sycamore, birch or willow and padded with thick straw. About 3 million pairs are still produced each year... Using slightly different materials, obviously.
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“Rap started out with a lot of anger, then they threw a lot of money at these guys and they missed the point,” soul legend Isaac Hayes comments before urging young Americans to concentrate on making ‘organic’ music.
“I'd like to see kids play live music more. They've been throwing mad money at them, which is fine, but they need real art, some real music education. That will ensure that the art will continue.”
“Back then, you knew who Kool & The Gang was, the Ohio Players and Earth, Wind & Fire. You could tell the Spinners from the Delfonics. Now everything sounds alike.”
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Floccinaucinihilipilification = an estimation of something as worthless.
At 29 letters long it is supposedly the longest real word in English language, according to the Oxford English Dictionary.
Supercalifragilisticexplialidocious, although 34 leters long, doesn’t qualify as it is a made-up word.
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“I’ve never had an argument with anyone. When I get angry, I get quiet,” is how Beyoncé explains her non-confrontational philosophy on life.
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In 1989 Alanis Morissette appeared on talent show ‘Star Search’, where she performed a version of The Osmonds’ ‘One Bad Apple’. Whether it was the song itself or her version but she lost to a singing cowboy named Chad.
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Franz Ferdinand got their name from a racehorse they watched win the day before their first gig, who in turn was named after the Archduke whose assassination triggered World War One.
You may, if you happen not to be Brit-born or educated, be appalled by their ignorance but, the truth be known - history is not taught in the UK schools.
But, it appears their lack of education hasn’t affected their taste: the band’s singer Alex Kapranos has made his feelings for Natasha Bedingfield clear when he declared - “she gets on my tits.” i.e., she touches no other parts…
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Elvis Presley’s ‘Jailhouse Rock’ sold just 21,236 copies to reach No.1 in January 2005 - the lowest sales ever for a UK chart-topper, since data began in 1969.
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The Beatles’ John Lennon and Sir Paul McCartney are credited with co-writing 295 songs.
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Harrow Road, West London: the area was synonymous with Joe Strummer in his pre-Clash days, where he fronted The 101ers, so-named because they used to squat at 101 Walterton Road.
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Marty Feldman’s character in ‘Young Frankenstein’ - starring Gene Wilder, directed by Mel Brooks in 1974 - Igor instructs visitors to the castle to “Walk this way” that was the inspiration for US rockers Aerosmith‘s hit song of the same name. It gave them a hit and then Run DMC got hold of it and made it an even bigger international smash!
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In the musical ‘Anchors Away’ (1945) Gene Kelly [co-lead with Frank Sinatra] dances with the cartoon mouse Jerry; the original ‘role’ was meant to be Mickey Mouse’s but Disney wouldn’t allow their ‘star’ to appear in a rival studio’s film, so MGM had to ‘re-cast’ and the rodent of Tom and Jerry fame got the part. Anyhow, MGM bosses didn’t think the sequence could be done but producer Joe Pasternak managed to secure $100,000 to have it made independently - even though he didn’t expect the gootage to make the final cut.
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Cher’s manager once called St Martin’s Lane Hotel insisting all her food be organic and from Harrods, which cost a fortune. But when Cher arrived, she declared the place a fish bowl and walked out. No report what was done with the food…
Michael Jackson ordered 48 bottles of Evian water to fill his bath but it only came halfway up, and – it was cold. He also brings is own chef – then has him serve children’s food like fish fingers.
It is not only stars that are strange but also hotel staff know to be as bizarre in the presence of celebrities. Once Mariah Carey was shown to her room when maintenance man sitting on her toilet. It turned out he was a fan who wanted his buttocks to be close to hers.
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The most unusual item Slipknot had to autograph was, according to percussionist Chris Fehn, “A prosthetic leg; the guy came to a store signing, wiped that f**ker off and slammed it on the table!? ‘Holly shit!’ we looked at each other; hobbled to the end of the table, slapped it back on and walked off. It was really cool.”
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Engelbert Humperdinck‘s memory on “launching” Jimi Hendrix's career?!
“In the UK I did. He was famous in America and they brought him over here and decided to put him with a known performer and he opened for me. He'd come on and do an hour and I'd close the show. One day, my guitarist didn't show up and Jimi said: 'Don't worry, I'll play.' I said: 'You can't do that.' But he insisted and played from behind the curtain. It was like having three guitars on stage at the same time.”
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The noun ‘propaganda’ derives form the title of a 1622 committee of cardinals, charged with disseminating the Catholic faith in newly discovered continents. It became an instrument of government during the 1930s: Goebbels founded a Ministry for Popular Enlightenment and Propaganda; the communists developed agit-prop, a blend of undercover agitation and slanted information.
An Institute for Propaganda Analysis, formed in Washington in 1937, identified seven criteria for ideological spin. They include playing on mass fears and appealing to common emotions by means of ‘glittering generalities’ and false conclusions.
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“If you ask nine-tenths of the British public what is the meaning of the word aesthetics, they will tell you it is the French for affectation or the German for a dodo…” lectured Oscar Wilde in January 1882 on ‘The English Renaissance of Art’. Or, Latin for a dildo…
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Inappropriate job: Kurt Cobain once worked as a swimming instructor for the YMCA.
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“There aren’t enough freaks in the music business these days. Video killed the radio star and now everyone has to conform to a certain look, and all their music sounds like the same R&B. It’s so boring. Freaks are often very talented and get people thinking,” was Alison Moyet’s reaction backstage at the United Nations High Commission for Refugees charity concert at the Royal Albert Hall on 08 December 2004.
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Maddy: seven wondrous facts
Mr and Mrs Ritchie’s drawing room of their London mansion is an exact replica of the Blue Bar at the Berkley Hotel in the capital’s Knightsbridge.
Maddy’s next movie role will be as silent screen actress Texas Guinan in Martin Scorseses’s upcoming musical ‘Hello Sucker!’ True!
Madonna has an IQ of 140. [Sharon Stone’s IQ is reportedly higher by 20 points which rightly proves that you don’t have to be blonde and bland.]
Madoona was born the same year as Prince [with whom she duetted on ‘Love Song’ [from the ‘Like A Prayer’ album, 1989] and
Michael Jackson - with whom she’s unlikely to share a stage due to her age…
The 46-year-old pop-diva, born a Roman Catholic was a recent convert to the mystic Jewish cult Kabbalah, makes no mention of Christmas in her onsite message which reads: "Happy Holidays! Let's all pray for peace in 2005. Love Madonna."
Madonna is 5’2’’ of sheer ambition. (09 Dec. 2004)
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Sir Rich. Branson’s 300 million spliff!
We all have regrets but don’t expect that Bill Gates or Sir Richard Branson would have [m]any. But once, when asked about it, Sir Rich admitted to have missed on a deal in his Virgin label owning days due to a “funny-baccy” roll-up.
“Dire Straits was an interesting one. Many years ago we agreed to sign them and the night before the deal we went for dinner in a Greek restaurant. I’d been told the band had a joint every evening so at the end of the meal a waiter brought out a plate with another one on top. He came to the table and took the top plate off to reveal a spliff. We smoked it and left.”
“Dire Straits never turned up the next day and it wasn’t until ten years later that I found out it was because we tried to ply them with drugs. That spliff cost me about £300million.”
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“Now, all you need to make a record is a laptop, one microphone and a cool haircut,” Blur’s Alex James gets critical.
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Mariah-itis or J.Lo-itis
At a resent visit to London – although it feels like he lives here – the singing pin-up (male division), Justin Timberlake, threw a wobbly at a top London hotel when he discovred he’d been allocated a suite that wasn’t “The biggest and most expensive”.
To top it all, following an appearance on Ant’n’Dec’s Saturday Night Take Away, Timbers is said to have thrown a hissy fit when the show’s credits ran over the end of his ‘Cry Me A River’ chart effort.
Are we expect a cussing scene onboard, alike Courtney Love recently?
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Diva-demand from Geri
At her last appearance on Top Of The Pops, Geri Helliwell insistsed on bringing her nurse with her and the nurse was there to give her vitamin shots.
“It was a first,” a source comments. “We were all pretty stunned.”
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Keef’s fave tipple
Keith Richards has a favourite drink, called Nucelar Waste. It’s vodka with orange Fanta and cranberry juice.
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Iggy versus the Corrs
The legendary punk-revolutionary Iggy Pop was abusive to the lovely Coors at one of his gigs and Andrea remembers: “Unfortunately, that’s true. We have the same tour manager and we were in a box and I didn’t want to make a spectacle of myself by dancing all night. The last thing you want is for the audience to be distracted by someone from another band being there. It’s a respect thing. He got quite frightening, swearing at us and trying to throw things at us from the stage.”
Naturally, Andrea’s stopped buying Iggy’s albums. “Yes, it frightened me; I was sitting beside my pregnant sister. It was looking very scary - he has apologised but I think he was out of order. It wasn’t because it was us; he would have done the same to anyone up there and I find that behaviour disgusting.”
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Top American anthems
Don McLean’s ‘American Pie’, which Madonna covered/massacred a few years ago, is one of the USA anthems. In 2001 (the 30th year of McLean’s recording career), the Recording Industry Association of America (RIAA) and the National Endowment for the Arts named the song one of the Five Songs of The Century.
The other four were ‘Over Of The Rainbow’, ‘White Christmas’ (Bing Crosby), ‘This Land Is Your Land’ and ‘Respect’ (Aretha Franklin).
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Two days before Haloween 1977, The Belgian tourist board issued a summons against The Sex Pistols claiming the sleeve to ‘Holidays In The Sun’ infringed copyright of one of its brochures.
And people reckon the nation’s has got a sense of humour?!
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Kurt Cobain, aged 19, was arrested and fined $180 after spray-painting ‘God Is Gay’ on a car. Rascal, eh?
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No DVD-music, we are British
Fact: Britons don’t like music DVDs. In Australia and Japan music DVDs represent 15 per cent of the total DVD market while in the UK the share is just 3%. What, boring pop gigs, not enough nudity or simply - enough gigs locally not to bother with watching recordings of shows?
Klam Meraffe
11-8-2005
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