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Album Review
by Joe Dunn
12-2-2003
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| Kelly Osbourne: the R'n'R future... not! |
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Kelly Osbourne: 'Shut Up'
(Sony)
‘Prince Of Darkness’ girl’s debut
Ozzy Osbourne’s teenage daughter Kelly has an album out and you may rightly enquire – why? Well, when her father’s label was assembling ‘The Osbournes Family Album’ compilation, Kelly sung on it and – someone saw further possibility of a lucrative cash-in – here is the whole album, ‘Shut Up’. Of course this is true fame-by-association (nepotism?)…
Ms Osbourne’s chosen musical expression is pop-punk-by-numbers of the Blink 182, Sum 41, Good Charlotte kind but then – it never stopped Green Day having a career that outlasted its use-by date by a decade. Whether Kelly ever thought of making music her career – personally I think she’d be better off as a female-Springer for teenagers – is simply useless contemplating because the destination, kids, is – a dead-alley.
‘Shut Up’ is all about attitude, posing and make-up, music comes second. It is really futile harbouring an illusion that this might move someplace else but where it’s comfortably numb ‘punk-by-numbers’ but profitably ‘rebellious’. Whether Kelly’s any good singer is yet to be verified, as she is too loud for most of the time. Not that we want to take anything away from her, as there is very little to start with.
Also, the artwork – she looks like her mother!? Frightening… And, unfortunately, very often Kelly’s vocal delivery reminds one of that other great ‘rebel of her time’, Kim Wilde; and we thought that Billie (before marriage) had that role cornered for keeps?! Anyway, imagine Kim Wilde fronting Blink 182 and you have a good indication of ‘Shut Up’.
We are well aware of Oscar Wilde’s postulation that, let’s modernize it (coz am too lazy to double-check it) – utter shite should not even be name-checked – but this is an extraordinary case where an upstart is hyped into global success and all due to having a little show on TV. It is with her parents, for Chrissakes, and that was way uncool when I was a punk with ‘Rott(en)y’ and ‘Strummy’ providing the soundtrack.
‘Shut Up’ is not so much laughable, just so tragically pointless and shamelessly opportunistic without any room to explore anything else. And, don’t forget that hype works but once…
Still, it appears that this CD contains three possible hits, so…
3/10
Joe Dunn
12-2-2003
Kelly Osbourne’s album ‘Shut Up’ is released 10 Feb. 2003 on Epic
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